Country notebook
Being an only child I had escaped having to wear hand-me-downs, but on one particular Thursday in the winter of 1957, aged nine, my luck ran out. My mother returned from South Molton clutching a brown paper parcel. "For you. Your cousin has grown out of it!"
I groaned. My cousin was a few years older than me and was, to put it politely, plump. The gift was unwrapped and held up against me. The hem almost touched my ankles, and there were three buttons missing, having probably popped off when he had exploded out of it. "No need to worry," said my aged maiden aunt. "Soon find some odd ones in the button box. Bright and colourful. You'm a lucky boy."
I was helped into the orange tent, big enough for a twin if I'd had one. It was ginormous, and my aunt was delighted. "Even bigger than I thought. Years of wear left in it." And those dreaded words. "You'll grow into it." I groaned again as more of her favourite words followed. "A tuck here, a tuck there, and it'll look like new." Her hands turning up three inches of cuff above my wrists.
On Monday morning, resembling Jimmy Chipperfield's big top, the walking tent stepped on to the rust bucket school bus and was immediately ridiculed. Three years later it was still a tidden viddy garment, I still hadn't grown into it, tucks or no tucks, it still didn't look like new. My aunt was happy. "Who'd have thought the overcoat would wear so well. Better to be born lucky than rich."
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