From the moment he was told that his son Jack had been killed in Afghanistan, to fighting Ministry of Defence bureaucracy and arguing with Ministers in Whitehall, Ian Sadler has recorded his experiences – good and bad – in a private book. He sent a copy to WMN Chief Reporter Andy Greenwood

TROOPER Jack Sadler died in Afghanistan on December 4, 2007. The 21-year-old from the Honourable Artillery Company was covering the machine gun in sentry position on a Land Rover during a patrol north of Sangin in Helmand Province.

Around 1pm local time, the Land Rover hit a mine. The blast threw Trooper Sadler out of the vehicle. He suffered multiple injuries.

Unconscious, he was helicoptered back to Camp Bastion hospital. He was pronounced dead at 2.27pm.

Those are the bare but devastating facts that confronted his father, Ian Sadler. As a former Royal Engineer, Mr Sadler knew the risks when his son told him he had volunteered to deploy to Afghanistan. He was not prepared for the news.

Two soldiers were standing outside his home in Exmouth when the telephone rang in his Army surplus shop in the town. Not allowed to discuss matters over the phone, he had to wait while they made the short journey.

"I shut my shop and waited a long 10 minutes by the door," he recalled. "I am thinking that if Jack was wounded then he would have said as much over the phone. There can only be one explanation. But God no. It can't be that.

"Two gentlemen in suits arrive. One introduces himself as Captain Green and hands me his Army identity card. The other introduces himself as a Warrant Officer. They both have set looks on their faces.

'What is it?' 'Are you Mr Ian Charles Sadler?' Yes.' 'I am sorry to have to tell you that your son was killed this morning. We haven't had the details yet, but the next of kin must be informed before the news is released.'

"I feel as if the earth has opened up. All those years of worry and effort watching my son grow up into a fine young man. Strong, intelligent, handsome, all gone just wiped out.

"There is nothing I can do. He is dead. I am helpless. He was my only child, my only son. His life is over. We can't change places, I should have predeceased him. I can't bring him back."

Mr Sadler, 59, describes that afternoon as "somewhere between fairyland and a horror story".

The chapter, simply entitled The Telephone Call, is one of many emotionally-charged sections of Mr Sadler's book, which he wrote in just 11 days.

It veers from the happy memories of a father taking his inquisitive son on outdoor adventures – and the time the seven-year-old Jack laid a trap to catch Father Christmas in the act – to angry exchanges with ministers over the standard of equipment provided to the Armed Forces.

Mr Sadler said he had written the book to create a physical record of his feelings, the questions he had asked and the inadequate answers he had received.

When news of Trooper Sadler's death was reported in the local and national media, Lieutenant Colonel Alastair Caie, Commanding Officer, Honourable Artillery Company, said "his decision to volunteer for mobilised service at such an early stage in his career was typical of his commitment to the regiment and the reserve forces".

Sanjay Mortimer, who set up a group dedicated to his memory on the networking site Facebook, said: "Jack was a compassionate, true and natural leader of men, he commanded a form of respect from all that knew him that required no rank."

Away from the media spotlight, Mr Sadler had already had to deal with the practicalities – his son's will, being the executor of his estate and the emotional reunion with his son's kit.

Among the four boxes of kit "was his gas lighter taped to a mini Maglite torch that was obviously round his neck when he was killed, as it was covered in blood.

"There was blood on his watch and also on a £1 coin. The whole lot was covered in a fine dust from the Afghan desert."

Mr Sadler was also having nightmares. "I hadn't had a proper night's sleep since the incident, waking up at two o'clock. I kept seeing, in my dreams, this Land Rover and no matter how I tried, I couldn't stop it from going over the mine.

"I wake up shouting, then realise it was weeks ago, there really is nothing that can be done."

Ahead of the funeral, Mr Sadler, who refuses to shy away from the difficult subjects in the book, visited his son in the Chapel of Rest. "Before I go in I walk up the road with the undertaker to try to ascertain what kind of a shock I am letting myself in for," he writes.

"What does he look like?" I ask. "Handsome," said the undertaker. The coffin is laid on trestles, the room lit by candles. It's deadly quiet, not much stirs in Topsham after 11 o'clock at night unless there's a party going on.

"Jack is lying there. I don't want to touch him as I know he will feel cold and dead. His hair is bleached by the sun and there is a lot of red in it. I look closer and see that it is blood in his hair, quite a lot of dried blood.

"His eyes look as if they are sealed with superglue. There are little nips along the eyelids. But apart from that he did look handsome – as always. I feel as if I can wake him up.

"I don't know how long I stayed in that room. Hammer films couldn't have done it better. What a nightmare."

The funeral, with full military honours, was held at Exeter Cathedral five days before Christmas. Jack is buried at Clyst St George, a stone's throw from where he went to school, where his mother Jeannette MacDonald still lives. Trooper Sadler also left his long-term girlfriend, Pippa Chalkin.

While battling to resolve his son's estate, Mr Sadler turned his frustrations on the Ministry of Defence and the equipment it was, or was not, issuing.

He said 19 soldiers had been killed in the same vehicle his son was travelling in – a Land Rover equipped with two machine guns – before his death.

"I think it is nothing short of a scandal that our soldiers are sent into a mined environment with unsuitable vehicles," he says.

At a memorial service and homecoming parade in Edinburgh, he seized the opportunity to buttonhole then Defence Secretary Des Browne. and their brief conversation about Army vehicles ended with the promise of a meeting.

That meeting happened in September last year. They discussed a wide range of topics from military hardware to soldier's pay. Mr Sadler didn't leave with all the answers to his questions.

He still believes that the country's servicemen and women are being short-changed by the Government.

"If I was Gordon Brown, I would be a little concerned that the public might wake up to the fact that our soldiers have been, and are, sent out with inadequate protection," he says. "This incompetent, callous negligence may one day be recognised as a war crime.

"When he says he is sorry to hear of another soldier's death, 'sorry' should mean 'I won't do it again'."

Perversely, it is the opening paragraphs of the book which seem a fitting conclusion.

"Since Jack's tragic death, I have focused, and reflected upon the terms that my son entered into service," Mr Sadler writes.

"Without being aware that the term 'special covenant' existed, I had always believed that soldiers played a vital role, for the benefit and existence of a healthy society, and as such they deserved a special kind of respect.

"The soldier's lot is a hard one, due to the nature of that calling, and adversity is expected. Napoleon said the first virtue of a soldier should be endurance of fatigue; courage is but the second.

"What I have endeavoured to highlight in this document is the way our young men are enticed, then, when the reality is revealed, are disappointed.

"My questions and replies are included, for you to judge. Afghanistan has some years to go yet. Do you have a son or relative ready to serve?"